"I want to wear it/I don't want to wear it" "It suits me/It doesn't suit me" - find a compromise and dress up today
Every morning I think about what I'm going to wear.
As I stand in front of my closet, I think about all sorts of things. The temperature and the weather. Where will I meet today and who will I meet? If I'm going to be speaking in public, what kind of setting will it be and how will I look?
Choosing your clothes is a form of communication, so if you're going to meet someone, even if your only outing that day is to a bar, or perhaps especially if that's the case, you should focus and choose carefully.If you're going to a number of different places, you should simulate your movements for the day by thinking about what you'll use as the basis for choosing your clothes.
Choosing your clothes at the beginning of the day is a way of planning your day, a way of being considerate of the people you will meet, and a kind of magic you can cast on yourself.
I was a timid child, and it was natural for me to read other people's moods. I was born into a Christian pastor's family and grew up as a sort of "shop boy," which no doubt had an influence. In Japan, churches are generally poor, with few personal possessions and most of the clothes we received as gifts. Even so, I understood as a child that wearing "proper" clothes and behaving as politely as possible for the Sunday service once a week was a kind of job, and that being loved by the parishioners, who were my "customers," was directly connected to my own life.
I think growing up in a church, a special occasion where people of all ages gather once a week in formal attire, or attired, led to my interest in clothes, fashion, and what we wear. But the reason I started buying my own clothes with my meager pocket money during adolescence was because of a childish fear that I would be embarrassed and unable to appear in public if I didn't wear proper clothes.
Although I no longer feel the same sense of urgency as I did back then, "clothes" remain a thin but undeniable "barrier" that can be erected between the flesh and blood of the self and society. By acting out the self dressed in those clothes, it is also a device for forging a connection between the self and society. Clothes are a kind of armor, even a weapon.
But does that mean we choose and wear clothes solely for someone else, worrying only about what others think? No, that's not the case. There is still our own taste and preference, a particular attachment to clothing itself, and a self-image of how we want to appear.
And while I think this is a path that anyone who loves clothes and fashion will have to go through, there are still strict standards for what "looks good on you" and what "doesn't look good on you" when it comes to clothes. It's (unfortunately) common that when you try on something you think looks good or you want it after seeing it worn by a model or a salesperson, it doesn't look good on you at all.
If you continue to buy and wear your own clothes, your sense of what "looks good on you" will gradually improve. This is somewhat objective, and even if it's hard to explain, it can be widely shared. That's why judgments like "cool" and "uncool" are things that everyone can agree on to a certain extent.
It's a bit sad when something you like doesn't suit you. Perhaps that's why it's not easy to reconcile the subjective notion of "wanting to wear it" with the objective notion of "it suits me" or "it doesn't suit me." I feel very embarrassed when I think back to the way I dressed as a teenager, when I started buying my own clothes. But perhaps that embarrassment is proof that I've gained some experience and have come to terms with it.
We choose our clothes in an inescapable "space of reason" and sketch our selves.
Once you come to terms with this, you will finally be free to go back to the beginning and think about the social standards of "how you want to appear/not appear." Instead of just wearing what you want to wear how you want to wear it, or just wearing safe clothes, you will be able to think about how you want to appear to others (how you want to look good).
I think what's interesting about clothing and fashion is that we wear clothes "for someone else," but at the same time, we also wear them "for ourselves." This probably stems from the fact that, while clothes are commonplace items that everyone wears, they are also highly cultural products that contain many messages that can be expressed and interpreted.
A typical example would be a "dress code." It is a collection of rules, or "codes," such as the rule that you should wear straight-tip leather shoes in formal occasions, or that you shouldn't carelessly choose a regimental (diagonal striped) tie because the pattern has meaning.
There probably aren't many people who know all of these rules and codes in detail, but behind the judgment that everyone probably has about whether something is appropriate or inappropriate in a given situation, there is a hint of countless codes like these.
Wilfrid Sellars, a 20th-century American philosopher, said that we humans live in a "space of reasons." Of course, we live in a physical space, but at the same time, we live in a space filled with things like "reasons," "conventions," "rules," and "norms," and every time we say or do something, its "meaning" is determined within the space of reasons.
Whenever I think about clothes, I remember these words of Sellars.
No one can be free from codes and rules. We live in a "space of reasons" and cannot escape from it. Even if there is someone who looks as if they don't care about their appearance at all, this creates the "meaning" that they "don't care about their appearance at all (they can't use/don't need to use it)." This arises regardless of what the person's "intentions" are.
The "space of reasons" surrounding clothing is largely a matter of knowledge, and the more you learn and take an interest in it, the more you'll understand the "correct" way to dress and behave. But if you're looking for something that's more than just that, then you enter the realm of fashion as a personal preference. This requires a subjective sense of "want to wear it" or "don't want to wear it," or more specifically, a preference of "like" or "dislike."
It's strange in some ways, and natural in others, but this subjective sense of "like/dislike" can also be honed through experience. This may be easier to imagine with taste than with something tangible like fashion. Adults, with their wide range of experience and knowledge, are certainly better equipped to "taste" food than children, who have eaten a limited variety of ingredients and meals.
Chefs, sommeliers, and bartenders, whose professions involve taste, have a much more refined palate than amateurs, and are able to articulate their likes and dislikes with a keen sense of sensitivity. They are also able to perform the incredible feat of distinguishing between their own likes and dislikes and those of their customers.
Similarly, clothing and fashion professionals can do the same. And even if you're not at that level, if you're an amateur, that is, a customer, and you've always loved clothes and their culture, and you've been buying and wearing them yourself, you'll gradually develop your own "likes." This includes your own sensibilities and aesthetic sense, but also the "mood" of the times, or what kind of style is "now in style," and if you've loved clothes for a long time and frequented clothing stores, you'll gradually come to understand that. After going through this process many times, sometimes following trends and sometimes not, the contours of "what you like" will gradually become clearer.
Choosing clothes is itself a private and public communication.
I've said a lot, but looking back, I think that in my own case, I wanted to have this "like/dislike." I grew up without having many "own possessions," and there was nothing in our home that I considered aesthetically pleasing, especially not any expensive luxury items. However, things that had no practical use in everyday life, such as the furnishings of the chapel, the cross, the pulpit, and the utensils used in the Eucharist, had a certain solemn beauty to them.
I absolutely loved the beautiful things symbolized by these ritual implements, as well as the accessories, clothes, and bags in magazines that embodied refined culture. Clothes are "beautiful things" that individuals can own and even wear. A single piece of clothing can only be worn by one person at a time. In that sense, it belongs to you alone.
It's a given, but this is one of the fascinating things about fashion. Clothes are deeply social, yet deeply personal. The fact that they reveal the wearer's inner self - their experiences, sensibilities, tastes, knowledge, considerations, and so on - is what makes clothes fascinating, yet also frightening.
I mentioned earlier that for me, clothing was a kind of armor, a weapon. But what was it that I wanted to protect from? What was it that I was fighting against? I didn't really understand it back then, but maybe now I can find the words to answer this question.
In other words, I think she wanted something that was "her own," she wanted to cultivate her own "likes," and in short, she wanted to clarify the contours of "herself."Threatened in various ways, both economically and socially, her "self" had become so vague that she wanted to give it shape through clothing.She wanted to avoid being looked down upon or met with hostility from others, and still be able to express herself as she wanted to.
Nowadays, there isn't much of that desperation anymore.
I've loved clothes for a long time, and I've met the culture and the people who carry it and devote their lives to it. I know the makers and sellers who live authentic lives, and who share a broad, overlapping sense of aesthetics, even if they don't completely agree with others. I've been able to form these club-like connections, and I've been able to discover and, in some cases, own things that I think are beautiful and that I've always wanted to own.
So even when I go out into a space like a bazaar where I don't know who I'll meet, I don't just worry about what other people think, I make an effort to look good and wear clothes that will impress the people in the club who have a foothold there and share my aesthetic sense and values.
I get dressed today while striking a balance between pursuing my personal, slightly guilty tastes and being proper in the public "space of reason."
It's fun and never a chore.
I choose clothes to meet you, the person I want to live with in this world.
